How to set a big salary goal without shame

Woohoo! I'm back, ready and raring to go for a new year. Did ya miss me?

If you did, that's ok.

'Cause I missed you, too!!!

As much as I love taking a breaking, chilling and hanging out, I actually love what I do: Change Leadership. It gives me joy and fulfilment, as well as a banging bank account to boot. I'm not just excited to be back, I'm also excited to be kicking off the new year with one of my favourite activities: goal setting!

But for us high achievers (yes, I'm looking at you), we can struggle with this simple task because inside we have these secret ambitions to do more, have more, be more. And maybe in the past you've been told your dreams are too big, your goals are too lofty, your expectations are too high, and the time is not right. 

We can feel scared to share our goals with our partners, family, bosses, and even friends and colleagues. And this is especially true for salary goals. We're taught it's rude to share the details of your pay with people, and sometimes this is even a policy in your organisation or your contract. Money makes people uncomfortable because we link it to social worth and self-worth, and a lot of people are shamed or guilted for earning more or dreaming of earning more. This may have even happened to you.

So when you go to set a salary goal (which you can do at any time of the year but it's a favourite exercise at new year or new financial year), you might hold yourself back from not just asking for what you really want - but even just putting it down on paper or sharing it with your nearest and dearest. 

Here's my 6 top tips to leaving your shame at the door so you can set a big salary goal with pride:

1. Cost of living goes up, why not your salary?

There are many, many companies, services and products that increase their prices each year (or multiple times a year). I was driving back over the Sydney Harbour Bridge from my summer holiday - toll increase. Private health insurance for the new year - premium increase. Walk into a supermarket to buy groceries - price increase. Some call it inflation, I call it life. The cost of living (measured by Consumer Price Index or CPI) goes up each year, so your pay totally should, too. Otherwise, you're doing the same work for less value: you literally have less buying power with the same dollars (I talk more about it in my blog post "Why you shouldn't have to ask for a pay rise" here). Your pay should be going up by at least CPI (which is usually 1-3%) so to get a salary increase in terms of "real value" you need to be pitching for at least 5-10% more than you're currently earning when you set your salary goal. Just a little step up based on what you deserve in real, cold, hard facts.

2. Your transferable skills and experience accumulates

There's a famous story that the design expert, Paula Scher, sketched the new Citibank logo in just a few minutes on the back of a napkin in front of the client. The logo was worth $1.5 million and when asked how something done so quickly could be worth so much, Paula says: "It’s done in a second and in 34 years." The value of the work you do today is not based on your current output. It's based on the accumulation of your experience and skill and investment of time and money from your entire life: from over a decade spent at school, to university degrees and industry courses, to the years of career history you've already had. All of this comes together to make you the multi-faceted, multi-talented professional you are today. For example, my transferable skills (that can be used in any job, any company, any industry, any country) are made up from 20 years working in Hospitality, Media, Communications, Marketing, Change Management, Coaching, and Online Business. Set your salary goal based on what you're worth from all your skills and experience, not just what you do right now.

3. Surround yourself by people who are earning big bucks and getting big salary jumps

I tripled my salary in 3 years to earning almost $200,000, and before that I had regularly gotten pay rises of $15,000-$20,000. And I'm not the only one - my Leading Successful Change students are smashing pay rise myths, getting multiple pay rises a year, and one student recently doubled her salary in 6 months (read more about her success on the LSC Invitation Page). If you don't see real everyday women setting big salary goals and achieving them, it can be super hard to build that belief in yourself that it's possible for you, too. 

4. Share your salary goal with people who will celebrate it

One of the other awesome things about my LSC Program is that we encourage setting ambitious salary goals and celebrate achieving them together. Your partner, family and friends may work in different fields to you, be of a different generation, or have a scarcity mindset, which can fuel the feelings of guilt and shame. And it might not feel safe or appropriate to share your salary goal with colleagues or your boss. But an unspoken goal can feel unreal - with no accountability and no hope, and lead you to avoid setting anything at all. Find appropriate people you can share your salary goal with, people who will awe and marvel at your ambition, not make you feel ashamed for your abundant dreams (which you are totally allowed to have!).

5. All progress is good progress

If you've ever set a salary goal and NOT achieved it, you might be wondering whether there is any point. There is. When I was 25, I set my salary goal of $200,000 for 2022 - the biggest, highest salary I ever thought was possible. It went on my vision board, and I had basically achieved it at 28, 3 years later. Realising I had CLEARLY underestimated my ability to manifest my own financial success, I instantly set a goal for $1 million for 2024 (yes, that's next year). Now, I'm not anywhere close to that BUT if I think about the career decisions, mindset shifts, and lifestyle changes I've made in the last 5 years (such as moving to contracting), I'm putting things into place that will help me achieve it or get pretty close. Don't forget the methods and milestones you might already have achieved that could get you to your ambitious goal, and when you achieve it is up to the universe and could be sooner than you think. But you have to ask for what you want in the first place.

6. Build your confidence to earn your worth

You are earning exactly the amount you truly believe you are worth - the proof is in the pay packet. So to change what you are worth, you need to change what you believe you are worth. And the only way to do this strategically and sustainably is by boosting and building your confidence from the inside out by releasing any fears and confidence blocks, growing your sense of value and self-worth, and setting your salary goal from a place of strength and self-belief.

If you want my help growing your confidence and earning your worth, grab my free "Underpaid and Overlooked Coaching Action Guide". It also includes a ready-to-use script you can use to negotiate a pay rise. Download it here:

CLICK HERE to download my free Underpaid and Overlooked Coaching Action Guide

Lata xx